If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
