i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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