he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
