Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
