I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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