mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
