Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
