I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
