this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
