Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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