I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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