Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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