is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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