Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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