Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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