Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize