I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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