I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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