I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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