I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
