so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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