i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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