I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
