Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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