I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Buhtt sex?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
