to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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