i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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