Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
