I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
