new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
