you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
