It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
