he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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