Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize