Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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