Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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