The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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