I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
