he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
