i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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