S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
