I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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