Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
