But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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