im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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