If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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