i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
