ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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