How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
