I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
