dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
