Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
