My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
