I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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