So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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