You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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