Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
