he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
